ned the fighting koi

Well, Ned the Fighting Koi (my new friend, pictured above, who was a "Good luck in Rehab!" gift from Taylor Marsh) and I are getting settled in here at Promises.  I've met my roommate, Dan, also a recovering Snarkaholic.  He bottomed out on Sadly, No!'s photos of Wingnuts in Party Hats.

It was this shot of Jeff Goldstein, actually, that did him in.   

 dickhead pasty

Yeah, that's strong stuff.  And I'm not supposed to have it in here or access it during my daily hour of Internet time, so don't tell anybody, for god's sake!  I'm just posting it as a warning to everyone that no matter what anyone says, Sadly, No! is a dangerous drug.  I know that "everybody does it", and that supposedly you can't get physically addicted to it, but you can still become dependent on it, and that's NOT COOL.  So, no matter what your friends say, y'all, Snark is dangerous and highly addictive.  I know that all the kids are doing it on the ol' Internets these days, but mark my words, it leads to more serious things and do you want to be the one who ends up with a serious problem like me?

I'm not trying to lecture you.  I just want to keep you all from making the same mistakes that I have made.

So, you know, it's pretty cool here.  I spent most of the afternoon in the Day Room, trying not to think about much of anything, just trying to take it one day at a time, especially until I get past the withdrawals.  It's not going to be easy, but this time I think I can really make it.  No more Atlas Vlogs for me, no sir!  Never, ever again.

Well, just not for today.

Which brings me to this cool kind of prayer-thing they taught us here:

Just for Today 

Just for Today my thoughts will be on my recovery,
living and enjoying life without the use of snark or dangerous vlogs.
Just for Today I will have faith in someone in SA* who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.
Just for Today I will have a program. I will try to follow it to the best of my ability.
Just for Today , through SA, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
Just for Today I will be unafraid, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using Snark and who have found a new way of life. So long as I follow that way, I have nothing to fear.

(*Snarkaholics Anonymous)

I feel better just saying it to myself.  Just for today.  One day at a time!  I really believe that this time, with God's help, I can kick for good.

It was a tough ride over here in the car.  Pach drove and Christy and Jane sat on either side of me in the back seat.  That didn't stop me from trying to leap from the car at two different traffic lights.  That was when Jane hit me with the Taser, the second time I tried to claw my way over her and out of the car.

After that, I was a lot calmer.  Of course, all I could do was sit there twitching and drooling into my lap.  But you know, whatever it takes to get help, right?  Thanks, Jane.  (Although I don't know why you had to hit me with the damn thing four more times in the last two blocks before we got here.  Jeez.  I was already immobile.  God!)

Really, I don't regret anything and I don't blame anyone except myself.

Okay, well, I regret one thing.  I never got my Wolcott link out of that last bender.  And I don't think that's entirely fair.  Mr. Wolcott, I thought we had a deal.  You stay up there in your chichi Upper West Side apartment and I go over to that neighborhood and score you the Pam snark.  And in return, I get THE LINK!  So, what happened?  I did what I was supposed to do.  I hid the snark in my jacket to get past your snickering doorman.  I left it in the potted palm on the landing like always.  But, you never linked me.  I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL, MR. FANCY PANTS VANITY FAIR WRITER!  I score you the stuff, AND YOU GIVE ME THE LINK!!  THE LINK!!  I.  NEED.  THE LINK!!!  I'M ONLY DOING THIS WHOLE THING FOR ATTENTION!!  DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??!!

Oh, fuck!  Did I say that out loud?

Here come the orderlies!  Hide that Goldstein picture!  Shit!  SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! 

I'm toast.

(ATTENTION: WE HAVE CONFISCATED THESE MATERIALS AND THIS LAPTOP FROM MR. REX.  HE HAS BROKEN THE RULES OF OUR FACILITY AND WILL BE TAKEN OFF INTERNET PRIVILEGES INDEFINITELY.  PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY EMAILS OR POSTS FROM MR. REX IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE.  HE IS A VERY SICK YOUNG THEROPOD AND NEEDS TO TAKE CERTAIN STEPS IF HE WANTS TO GET BETTER.  THANK YOU.  

THE PROMISES STAFF)