And how was everybody’s Saturday?

It’s like if Al Swearengen wants to show hospitality to a potential business associate, he does what he knows and offers up one of his employees gratis for the night.

The businessman, if accidentally virtuous but shrewd, will accept the offer but stake out opposite corners of the bedroom for unmolested shut-eye.

So may it be with Ned and Wolfson. Who knows: maybe Howard’s good for some sparkling, even enlightening, conversation. But deeper communion could prove unsanitary.

Do you think we can get The Kiss float outfitted with a Conjuntos Pedemos sign for a nice little inside joke?

I had written this draft intending to send it to our Online Editor, Jesse Lee, for approval and instead accidentally sent it to you. This is not the official policy of the DCCC and should not be taken as such.

Ok, sure.

Well, here comes Boss Rahm in Sunday’s New York Times saying the same thing:

“Explain to me how two Democrats running is bad,” Mr. Emanuel said in an interview.

Would someone please explain to this man that there are not two Democrats running? Jane?

Let’s chat, Joe…

Pluto’s no longer a planet. Lieberman’s no longer a “combatant.” What does it portend, oh what might it mean in the world according to bush?

Pluto was a respected, well known planetary staple for all those educated prior to its recent demotion. Wasn’t it always so cute in its diminutive condition? I mean, who didn’t like Pluto! It was the baby of the family for heaven’s sake…the “junior” of the group. Sure, it wasn’t a dramatic Saturn with its willowy rings; nor was it a monolithic Jupiter, the big one you’d never mess with. All I can think in my attempt to understand this is that a fundamental truth emerges from within Pluto’s demise: Indeed, size DOES matter after all.

So, Joe…what in the planetary system are you doing here? One day you’re a Democrat, one day you’re a whole party! Then you wish to caucus with Democrats – but you “campaign,” yes, CAMPAIGN (ya, Jane, that one’s for you!) with Republicans! And what’s THIS about…Glory be do my eyes deceive me? The Hawk is changing course? Your lust for war has been satiated? Oh, I know, it’s just a small thing, a concession “if you will” (I like to talk like Cheney sometimes and I KNOW it appeals to you.) You simply want a timetable…like your Republican colleague..I forget his name…oh, right, Christopher Shays. I LOVE when political expediency reigns and oh Joe, I know you love it too! Who among us can’t love an opportunist? Especially when it comes to life and death matters? Why, look at your donors – beneficiaries of the war machine! Of course you love opportunity – who wouldn’t given your coffers they’ve stuffed.

But Joe – you’re kinda walkin’ a fine line now, aren’t ya? You just might be construed as a “flip-flopper” and we KNOW how politically incorrect THAT is. Just ask your old ex-buddy Kerry.

Hey, Senator Kerry! I’m gonna give YOU a couple of points for your politics around your comments re your ex-Democratic senator buddy. Not enough, however, to get MY vote again but for now, nice job! I am a liberal and I like to give credit where it’s due.

Now, back to you, Joe…Being so “in touch” with your consituents as you claim to be, surely you must have noticed that Ned’s got the momentum? Come on, you KNOW it! You INVENTED it! Just like your “new” friends like to say that President Gore “invented the internet!” NED’S GOT THE MOMENTUM….but WORSE for you, Joe, NED’S GOT THE BUCKS NOW!!!
Use all your senses, Senator…take a look at what your constituents, the majority that is, are saying, and doing…and when you do, you’ll see that the tides have turned against you. Forget about the reasons, Joe, you were never really a detail man. It is what it is. The people of Connecticut, YOUR state, Senator Lieberman, spoke to you on August 8th. So far, you’re still unable to hear what they said. Let me try to rephrase it in a way that I think you might understand.

We, the People of Connecticut, registered DEMOCRATS, whom you have sworn to serve, have given you a message. The message was clear. You can’t hear it right now because you’re still in shock that you are about to lose the power you’ve coveted for the past 18 years.

Power isn’t lasting, Senator, unless you use it properly, with respect and that that respect applies to others you encounter while the Power is in your hands. Senator, you have ABUSED your power and you have done so at the people of Connecticut’s expense. You have betrayed the principles of the party you claim allegience to.

We’ve got some dead people here in CT, Joe, really, really dead…and they have families whose grief and pain can never be explained to anyone unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Your decisions, Joe, have caused those beautiful people to be dead and those families their eternally gaping wounds. Things like that are NEVER forgotten, Senator, trust me. I lost a child not through war but in love. I get their pain. But I don’t get how they reconcile their loss based on known lies. My heart bleeds for them.

And when we take it a step beyond, and look at your un-WAVERING support for that war’s continuance, speaking for myself, I’d love to grab you by the shoulders and shake you, screaming in your face, why, why, why did you let this happen?

Do the right thing, Joe. Some say you’re a “religious” man. “Thou shalt not kill” seems like a pretty universal spiritual and moral concept, doesn’t it, Joe? Get in touch with your conscience. Look back on your career. And ask yourself one question…What role have you played since 2000, when you covered your bases in the senate even then, how many of those lives are you responsible for and what, for mercy sakes are you prepared to tell the God you believe in? Far be it for me to presume to be able to judge any one else’s conscience but oh wow, if it were mine? I’d be pretty tied up in THAT psychological quaqmire, that’s for certain.

I have voted you the responsibility of speaking and standing up for the values I believed in. You did that for a time. That time was over in 2000…but in 2002, when you had the dignity and grace to drop out of the race, I applauded you. You had the integrity then, Senator, but you’re mixed in with a whole different crowd now, Rovian folk. I beg you: remember your roots.

At this moment, you are on a precipice. A crossroads. Make the right decision, Senator Lieberman. Bow out of the race now while you can with that same dignity and grace you displayed in 2002. Do it, Joe. Your positive legacy will remain in tact. For the most part. The clock is ticking, Joe. Time is on your side this moment but that is about to change depending upon what you do at this crossroad.

I’d love to meet you, Senator, and have a cup of coffee with you. I know you’re the one of the two of us who knows the diner scene so I’ll leave the logistics to you. You name the diner and the time and I would be so delighted to share some coffee and some kibbutzing with you.

But, back to Pluto where I think I must have been living these past 6 years as my eyes and ears couldn’t believe what I’ve been seeing devolve. I guess my questions all boil down to this: is if a planet is no longer called a planet, does it still make a sound?

It’s time, Senator. It’s time.

POLITICAL > WEDGIE WEDGIE WEDGIE

I wonder how HoJo is gonna get that spindle of underwear out of his butt crack???

Visegrips

They seem too solve almost every mechanical problem in life.