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"So I said, ‘Bush is damned lucky that George Allen’s dumber than he is.’"

For the week ending: 8/19/06 

"The judge’s decision was a — I strongly disagree with that decision, strongly disagree. . . . And I — the American people expect us to protect them, and therefore I put this program in place. We believe — strongly believe it’s constitutional."

–G.W. Bush 

[Insert tinkly piano intro from NPR's maudlin "This I Believe" series here]

I strongly believe in things, too.  I strongly believe that you can mix and match prints, so long as you keep them small.  I strongly believe that the Jets will let me down . . . again . . . this year. I strongly believe that if I had a .357 on hand, I’d pull an Elvis on my TV. I strongly believe that were a python to grow to humongous proportions and terrorize a small town, it wouldn’t have to resort to those strange "roaring" noises sci-fi movies rely so heavily on. I strongly believe that I saw the Virgin Mary in my oatmeal the other morning (although it might’ve just been a clump of raisins with a small halo of milk). I strongly believe that George Felix Allen, Jr. is a mean-spirited, racist tweezerhead who should be cleaning out macaque cages, not running for re-election.  I strongly believe that Bar Bush found it wildly amusing to drop her eldest spawn on his still-soft fontanel just to watch him bounce. I strongly believe that Joe Lieberman is a grabby, mewling Republican toady who would push his mother iin front of a speeding Acela train before surrendering his job in Washington.

And I strongly believe that down the road, the Bush Administration will be recalled as the most amoral, avaricious, criminally insane thugs that have ever set foot in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

I also strongly believe that there are some frickin’ funny people out there who would make better political leaders than the evil clown show we have in office right now. 

James Wolcott provides a summation of the week in two sentences: "And in Virginia, we have a presidential aspirant who’s more crap than Bush, and a bigger idiot, boggling as that may be. I speak of course of the man who henceforth shall be known as Senator Shithead." (Attaturk does it in one.)

Of course, it would be nice if we had a President who could extemporize in full, coherent sentences. Steve M. of No More Mister Nice Blog makes that cartoon "uhyuhyuhyuhyuh" noise while shaking his head. 

Grab a hankie — Tom Tomorrow makes the case for poor, misunderstood "Job" Lieberman.

FREAK OUT!  Lady has lipstick on board!  S.Z. at World O’ Crap slaps around the idiots scrambling for their .3 mil plastic sheeting over the latest "terrorist alert," while TBogg lets out a small, girlish shriek at the thought of relinquishing his Aquafina at the ticket counter. And Sporty at Little Green Fascists reminds us what very well could’ve happened if we hadn’t agreed to use the Constitution to light the stove during the last rolling blackout.

Katie Harris, the deranged, triple venti addict whose campaign just keeps getting funnier, receives words of support and advice from the 100% het General.

Digby analyzes TNR’s latest paean to that other crazy [alleged] lady, Ann Coulter, and comes to a rather unnerving conclusion.

Gavin M. over at Sadly, No! brings forth a message from Steve Johnson to the unwashed, unpaid masses writing in the blogosphere:  Stop it. Just stop it right now.

Roy Edroso makes hay with "Whackjobs for Jesus" Michael Gerson, Bush’s speechwriter who, as Roy lucidly notes, makes the Nooner’s dolphin love seem almost quaint.

Ah, Skippy rewrites a ballad in honor of the cable news lemmings who save Bush’s ass once again.

Shakespeare’s Sister catches Conrad Burns napping on the job.  Reminds me of this clip, only not 1/1,000,000th as cute.