Trex, peace go with you.

-your brother

TRex, sorry to hear about your friend.

As the legendary Stan Freberg once remarked in one of his more serious tracks, “We’re all just sort of penciled in here.”

Peace, TRex, to you both.

Go and hold your friend, stroke her face, and give her your wordless love. She will know you.

Be at peace.

TRex, I am so sorry.

I am so sorry for you and for your friend. It is a terrible thing to go through.

I don’t understand why so many people who are so special and bring such joy and light to the world get taken away cruelly and too soon

I tell myself that maybe God needs them as much as we do. (Nine months, and I’m still wanting to call my mother every week.)

my deepest sympathies for your pain, and that of your friend. If it hasn’t been done already, get her and her family in touch with a hospice organization- they really can help with not just the medical aspects, but the emotional and spiritual pieces as well.

oh sweetie pea, love to you and love to your friend.

Sorry to hear it, TRex. God, would I love to see the day when that bastard disease would never take a life again.

So touching - your words. Your friend has a very wonderful friend.

Your friend will have your love forever, T.

TRex — Wishing you both safe passage to the next place, here in this plane or the next.

go hug her–be there and love her

It sounds like she did what she wanted in life, which is wonderful, and far more than many many others get to do. She got to touch people with her voice–a great gift to her and to all who heard her.

Thank you, darkblack, and everybody. I’m sitting here at the computer with tears streaming down my face. (That’ll do wonders for my radio voice.)

I didn’t expect to do this post tonight, but it was all I could think about. I’ll try to be funny again soon.

I tell myself that God needs them as much as we do. (6)

Same here, she is going to a better place.

I’m so sorry, TRex. I’ll be keeping you and your friend in my thoughts.

Oh Trex you made me cry. My Mom has cancer too right now. I guess I am in denial of what might happen. Of course she is my only parent that I like too. Life sucks sometimes, it really sucks. My grandma is 92 and going strong, my mom is 59 and she has cancer. What is up with that.

Big hug for you and your friend. Spend the time and cherish it.

I know that I am constantly recommending this book - but it is something I read that made the real necessary difference in my life when facing a real deal serious diagnosis. My sis does end of life care, and recommends it to her patients and their families.

kitchen table wisdom

——-

I’m really sorry to hear that. The Ms. and I went last night to a memorial service for a good friend’s mother, who we were close enough with to call “Mom.” She’d had emphysema for quite a few years (she didn’t stop smoking soon enough, sadly) and got a lung infection she couldn’t recover from. She wasn’t young, but it was still too soon.

about the mad at God thing: My grandma would always say that when you’re born, the day you’re going to die is written in a big book somewhere, but you’re never allowed to know the date. The reason is because never knowing how long or how little you have left doesn’t matter—it’s what you do every day, and to try to be good and make a difference and stuff that matters.
(then she would say something like “you could be hit by a truck tomorrow”) : >

TRex - so very sorry that a good friend, and wonderful spirit has to be taken from this world before you, her friends, and the world have had their fill of her light. All I know having just experienced the untimely death of someone way too young to go, there are no answers. Only those left with the pain of the loss.

Acceptance is one of life’s biggest tribulations. She will not be forgotten and you will make sure of that.

TRex-
Thank you for sharing this with us. Your grief, pain and love are tangible; I wish these damned toobz that both connect and separate all of us could transmit our affection and comfort back to you as effectively.

TRex: Hold her hand and talk to her. Even if she doesn’t respond, she’ll know you’re there. Oh, and consider yourself hugged.

I had an experience when giving birth to my first child that I can only describe as kundalini. My head and consciousness were cracked wide open; I realized during that singular moment that we are one, we move as one, what separates us is illusion, what separates is what we are supposed to transcend.

What makes me angriest in this world is that which seems to work in deliberate opposition to our transcendence; I cannot fault disease and age because in some way, it is the natural process of transcendence for us to be joined in some way that no longer requires corporeal presence. There are people I’ve known and loved who’ve passed, who are still very much here — just not drinking with us, at least for the moment. It is the power that separates while we are corporeal that we must resist.

This week we “celebrate” the passing of my brother-in-law seven years ago at the age of 46. It was sudden, devastating; there are never words to describe the pain of loss. It seemed as if we’d never be happy again, my husband having lost his best friend. I wish I could spare TRex and others this pain, but it is the nature of our humanity. We take more pains now with others in the family than we did before, realizing it is all too short this time in this particular place. And yet, this brother is still with us; he is with us every damned time my husband tells that silly joke that made him giggle like a girl.

It will be better, just not soon.

I’ll try to be funny again soon.

Take your time. As you’re here for us, we’re here for you and your friend.

OT - Colbert: Lamont is using his commercials to get his message out to al qaeda sleeper cells in the US!

ROFL!

Thoughts with you and your friend, my friend.

I can’t come close to the eloquence of the other posters but I was very moved by your post and I will keep you and her in my prayers.

{{{{{{TRex & Little E}}}}}}

Truly sorry for your friend. Recently I spent two days at the bedside of an old sailing partner in a semi-coma. We went back four decades and I knew all five kids when they were young. He tried really hard to come around to no avail. He was sent off with the best vibes possible. Peace to you and yours. Wil

That clear pure voice…I can almost hear it.
love to you both

Rex, sorry for your friend.

I’m a bluegrasser; not so much into rock, but Amos’ bittersweet song, accurately reflects the solitude and passages we have to go through.

I hope the knowledge of the continuity of our souls offers you, and your friend, some small consolation.

I’m but a lurker, but I know: my Flock, my closest friends, are the most precious thing in my life. They have helped me survive when nobody else would come to my side, more then once. Were one of the to die, the grief would be overwhelming.

It sounds like you have one too, T-Rex. From one dinosaur to another, blessings to your friend and you. Even if I am but a stranger feathered one in a cruel world…I understand.

one of my mentors, a big, huge man from arkansas, had surgery today and was found to have cancer throughout his abdomen, including his pancreas, which is a death sentence. they took his stomach, so for as long as he continues to live, he’ll be eating through a tube. if you knew this guy, you’d realize he’d rather be seeing the business end of a pillow right now.

i can relate, t-rex. it’s fucking awful to lose people who you care about, and who mean something to you.

it’s times like this when you wonder why the shitbags continue to live like royalty while good people die.

as someone much wiser than me once said, bad things happen to good people. a lot. that’s just how life is.

my condolences on the impending loss of your friend.

From Julian of Norwick, via the writer, Carol Lee Flinders, comes this big and little-person lullaby for soothing difficult times: “All will be well and all will be well and all manner of thing will be well.” I sang it to my then 4 month old niece during the days before and weeks after by sister’s brain surgery. It was very nice, almost like a prayer.

TRex, I am so sorry. May the peace that passes understanding surround you and your friend. You are loved.

a beautiful tribute David, clearly reflecting a beautiful friendship

so sorry darlin’

You are doing the right thing, going to visit. It’s the most important act, all that matters, what we are left with is friendship and compassion at the end, in this world.

Well, this shift is almost over. I’m going to make my way to the grocery store and then home. See you all in a bit.

You are a sweet, strong, genuine, caring man T. Thanks for sharing your pain, your anger and your love.

J

Hey TRex,

Thank you for the tears on my face; I’ve never seen the pain of unjust loss better expressed.

Thanks too for the Tori - I had no idea you were a fan.

TRex, positive vibes coming atcha from the NW.

So sorry to hear this news, TRex. We grieve with you, here. This song is new to me, but it’s an amazing piece of work.

A book that’s been around awhile but which helped me resolve many things in my mind about inexplicable tragedies like this is Harold Kushner’s “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” I actually keep extra copies on hand to give to friends who are hurting. If you’d like one of ‘em after the “gold dust” settles from your loss, drop me an e-mail and it’ll be headed your way…

dale dot short at gmail dot com

I’m so sorry, David. I know right now you’re too sad to care about this, but you were both quoted and linked to in the top rated diary at dkos today. It’s not Wolcott, but it’s not nothing. When you come back to this thread in the future, and you’re feeling a bit better, you can read this and, I hope, enjoy it. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/8/16/15553/6570

My thoughts and deepest sympathies for everyone here who is going through this right now.

My parents are in their mid-60s, I visit them every year and when they come though town - who knows how much longer any of us will be around. As Neil Finn sings: “I could go anytime/there’s nothing safe about this life…”

It’s no substitute, TRex, for this very special friendship that is disappearing like water in an open palm, but please feel buoyed by the caring of all the people here. And when the grief waves hit — let them. I’m reciting Dame Julian’s beautiful mantra for you — we all are. Who knows why He decides things the way he does? We’ve just got to take our licks, grieve, and keep on keeping on, enriched and ever changed by having had those special people/beings in our lives, for however long we have them.

Peace.

OT From Huffpo:

Airline Gives Employees Tips On Saving Money After Slashing Wages:
-Dig Stuff Out Of The Trash
-Take Dates To The Woods
-Shop In Thrift Stores…
***

To think I was ahead of the curve when I became a street musician.

My heart dies a tiny bit more when I hear of another musician dying before their time. I will pray for her and you both TRex.

TRex

My prayers are with you and your friend. I’ve had three close friends pass on in the past 8 months, which sucks because I’m really not a mourning person.

I wish you well in this time.

so sorry to hear about your friend, trex. may god be with her.

I hope your friend has no pain….she is going to place free of physical wants or needs.

And we’re stuck here with the assholes.

So sad to lose someone so young….go see your friend very soon.

Fini FiniTOOBZ! @ 48

My heart dies a tiny bit more when I hear of another musician dying before their time. I will pray for her and you both TRex.

I remember when Nancy Lamott passed away. For those who’ve never heard her, she was a caberet singer with the voice of an angel, and she passed from cancer just as her career was taking off to amazing heights.

Be happy for the hearts your friend touched, TRex. In this life that’s all that matters.

TRex,

Your post, the song, are ineffably touching.

You said “I believe in God, although sometimes I wonder why, and at times like this, I sure don’t like Him very much.’

Maybe you’d feel more comfortable with the idea of God if you either didn’t anthropomorphise the Deity or make it male.

I’ve lost so many friends and close relatives over the years, held the hands of a few in their last moments, been brought back twice myself with the paddles, and played “taps” at so many, many memorials for Vets, that I’ve ceased to be bitter about the injustices on an individual basis. A lot of what makes us human is how we take these events - one at a time.

But it is hard. I was asked top speak briefly at a memorial for a great Alaska pioneer last Saturday. He was a gruff old fart who was many things over the years, including one of the best dog photographers there is. But I spoke of how young flute and piccolo players were inspired by him year after year, and how he was a model for for so many, including my daughter. When I got to the part about him being a surrogate gramps for some kids I’ve worked with, I broke up and couldn’t continue until I drank some water and took a few deep breaths. Then it was OK, and I was able to share some more of his life with his friends.

OT: NYTimes Via Atrios

Yet some outside experts who have recently visited the White House said Bush administration officials were beginning to plan for the possibility that Iraq’s democratically elected government might not survive.

“Senior administration officials have acknowledged to me that they are considering alternatives other than democracy,” said one military affairs expert who received an Iraq briefing at the White House last month and agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity.

“Everybody in the administration is being quite circumspect,” the expert said, “but you can sense their own concern that this is drifting away from democracy.”

Condolences … your friend will know you are there for her with the squeeze of your hand or a gentle kiss on her forehead or a whisper in her ear …

TRex, I am so sorry to hear about your friend.

Years ago, in a moment of great clarity, I realized that cancer cures the human spirit of physical suffering.

The spirit, as part of the one stuff that is the god stuff of the universe, is indestructible. All flesh, all that is substantial, passes away — but the spirit is indestructible.

In Shakespeare’s All’s Well That Ends Well Act 2 Scene 1, Helena visits the King, and offers to treat his malignancy, on pain of death if she fails. He accepts, and is cured.

Perhaps you and a friend could read it to E — it might offer some comfort.

An excerpt from the text:

HELENA

What I can do can do no hurt to try,
Since you set up your rest ‘gainst remedy.
He that of greatest works is finisher
Oft does them by the weakest minister:
So holy writ in babes hath judgment shown,
When judges have been babes; great floods have flown
From simple sources, and great seas have dried
When miracles have by the greatest been denied.
Oft expectation fails and most oft there
Where most it promises, and oft it hits
Where hope is coldest and despair most fits.

KING

I must not hear thee; fare thee well, kind maid;
Thy pains not used must by thyself be paid:
Proffers not took reap thanks for their reward.

HELENA

Inspired merit so by breath is barr’d:
It is not so with Him that all things knows
As ’tis with us that square our guess by shows;
But most it is presumption in us when
The help of heaven we count the act of men.
Dear sir, to my endeavours give consent;
Of heaven, not me, make an experiment.
I am not an impostor that proclaim
Myself against the level of mine aim;
But know I think and think I know most sure
My art is not past power nor you past cure.

KING

Are thou so confident? within what space
Hopest thou my cure?

HELENA

The great’st grace lending grace
Ere twice the horses of the sun shall bring
Their fiery torcher his diurnal ring,
Ere twice in murk and occidental damp
Moist Hesperus hath quench’d his sleepy lamp,
Or four and twenty times the pilot’s glass
Hath told the thievish minutes how they pass,
What is infirm from your sound parts shall fly,
Health shall live free and sickness freely die.

my older son’s wife died this way two years ago. she was also 36. she was diagnosed with cancer seven years before. many times i thought, how young! why not me instead?
the good that came from it, as best i can figure, is that many of us who were close to her now have an even keener awareness of how precious life is and how fragile we all are.

Peace, TRex.

And courage.

Subway Serenade — wow. Didn’t expect to see Nancy LaMott’s name, of all people. She was a hometown girl, grew up not but a few miles from here. The town took it hard when she passed; you are right, she did sound like an angel. Still does, sings with the best of them, just not with us.

My heart is with you and your friend too TRex. Your post touched me deeply as I have helped a close friend pass from cancer, it will be two years in Jan. My tears blend with yours.

I haven’t managed to comment today because a local girlfriend just came from the doc and found out she has a brain tumor. She’s scared shitless, I’ve spent most of the day in an IM window with her trying to calm her down. I had a strange dream two nights ago about a tree, a wind came up and caused the tree to sway almost in circles then uproot completely and crash to the ground. Her news was much like that for us both.

Must go, but just remembered a favorite poem by Rumi, for TRex.

I died from minerality and became vegetable;

And From vegetativeness I died and became animal.

I died from animality and became man.

Then why fear disappearance through death?

Next time I shall die

Bringing forth wings and feathers like angels;

After that, soaring higher than angels -

What you cannot imagine,

I shall be that.

Oh Shez, I just caught that after posting. So very sorry. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.

TRex,

Godspeed on your journey to your beloved friend’s side.

I hope this does not seem morbid to you and I apologize if it does, but I tell you from personal experience that making that last connection - bravely saying “goodbye, until we meet again in a better place. I love you and always will” is one of the most sacred and cherished experiences lowly mortals like us will ever (barely) make it though.

The cricket household keeps you and your friend in our thoughts and prayers.

TRex:

Sorrow is a painful emotion, but it makes us better human beings having experienced it. Make this a cause for you to grow in wisdom and compassion.

Learn to deal with sorrow from Jane. Her mother’s passing reinforced in her the urgency to work for her cause. Your writings are touching many readers and will be better for the pain and sorrow you have/had to endure.

Trex dear friend … I’ll be thinking of you both and praying your friend’s step off the wheel is peaceful and surrounded by love

and you know dear, you don’t have to be funny, just yourself - we love you in all your variations

Trex:

I, and my family, were at my sister’s bedside when she died of cancer 4 years ago, at age 38. I lnow it doesn’t help, but we share your broken heart.

{{{{{{{ HUGE HUGS TO BOTH OF YOU }}}}}}}

Sorry about your terrible news, Trex. My dad died of cancer 2 years ago, and this year I lost my favorite aunt, his sister, in almost the exact same way during the exact same week. (And what kept her fighting more than anything was wanting to live long enough to see Buscho indicted!) Thing is, you don’t really lose them at all. I get almost as many communiques (for want of a better word) from them now as I did when they were here. There truly are angels among us.

Know dear Trex that many stand with you right now, sending you good energy in many different ways. Take heart.

That’s a beautiful poem you shared. gold dust in our hands, indeed.

I was just looking up some lyrics from a band from over 25 years ago. I met my husband at one of their shows.
The lead singer died of cancer at about the same age. We went to the funeral and tonight I was shocked to realize it was exactly 10 years and one month ago. Time flies…

Here’s a poem we read at my sister’s memorial service. I don’t know the author.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not here, I do not sleep
I am the thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
I am the shining stars at night
When you awake to the morning light
I am the soft uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
My time has come, I am at rest
I am the sunset in the west
I am the clouds that race above
Where I watch over those I love
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not here, I do not die
So hear the words that here I say
I am the love that guides your way.

May you be forever guided.

And may she stay forever young.

Trex-sorry to hear about the pain your friend is in…go tomorrow…it’s easier to replace jobs than it is friends.
Seems your right about God too, His Kid is much nicer and the Boy’s Mom has helped me out on more than one dark time.
Get yer ass to your friend’s bedside, we’ll cover for you.

Maybe Bush Will Get a JonBennet Bounce

Since that London Terra™ scare didn’t work out last week, maybe this will give Supreme Leader Bush that elusive boost in the polls that he and Lieberman are so desperately seeking.

Why not? Bush’s non-involvement with the apprehension of the JBR killer is a lot like his non-involvement with the London Terra™ plot.

It’s so crazy, it might just work…

Check it out folks, Abu Gonzalez wants to fight the terrorists over here so we dont have to fight them over there.

T-Rex, I’m sorry too.

When I’m too sad for words, music is where I go.

So here’s some. Nancy Lamott was awesome. I didn’t discover her until after she died, but have all of it. The album “Listen to My Heart” is my favorite. It has so much wisdom and beautiful music that all I can say is listen to it. Beth Nielsen Chapman is another stop on the musical life list. After her husband died from cancer she published “Sand and Water.” It’s remarkably beautiful. I gave it to a friend whose fiance died of meningitis on their wedding day, leaving her pregnant and bereft. She found comfort there.

We are so fragile. Sometimes I wonder what the point is.

There may still be hope for your friend, if her liver is functional:

http://www.gerson.org/

But the doctors will definitely kill her.

Sorry TRex.

TRex - there are no words, just compassion. You have mine.

Bionic - that was the poem our rabbi recited at my mom’s funeral. I believe it’s a traditional American Indian poem.

Shez, if you are still around, I would be glad to talk to you and your friend. Been there, still there.

I’m not caught up on all the comments yet, but Shez, I just read your post. I’m so sorry.

God is recruiting mighty angels. There must be something big coming.

Ed*ard T.: I only use “he” for god when I am talking or writing too fast to say “The-Infinite-World-Mind-Creator-Destroyer-Thing-That-Ties
All-of-us-together-and is-simultaneously-kitten gentle-and-Red-in-Tooth-and-Claw”.

You know, verbal shorthand.

TRex @
78

Ed*ard T.: I only use “he” for god when I am talking or writing too fast to say “The-Infinite-World-Mind-Creator-Destroyer-Thing-That-Ties
All-of-us-together-and is-simultaneously-kitten gentle-and-Red-in-Tooth-and-Claw”.

You know, verbal shorthand.

707!! Or like when I call God “Kenny”.

Your beautiful friend and your wounded soul reminded me of this song….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGC29fn8JFU

Peace to you and yours Trex

Wendy

Rayne @
59

Subway Serenade — wow. Didn’t expect to see Nancy LaMott’s name, of all people. She was a hometown girl, grew up not but a few miles from here. The town took it hard when she passed; you are right, she did sound like an angel. Still does, sings with the best of them, just not with us.

Here in NYC we have the flagship Pacifica Radio Station, WBAI. David Rothenberg plays Nancy LaMott’s music often on his saturday morning show. She had a voice like liquid silk and she was amazing on the piano. I still cry when I listen to her.

I have to go to bed. If y’all could pass on word that I might be of assistance with what she and her friend are going through, and I very much would like to help if I can . . .

Bionic @ 69

It’s by Mary Elizabeth Frye, apparently. Wonders of google-fu.

astralplame @
82

I have to go to bed. If y’all could pass on word that I might be of assistance with what she and her friend are going through, and I very much would like to help if I can . . .

“word to shez”

OK, so playing Nancy Lamott’s “We Can Be Kind”
which I haven’t listened to in forever, but it feels like an FDL theme song of sorts:

So many things we can’t control
So many hurts that happen every day
So many heartaches that pierce the soul
So much pain that won’t ever go away

How do we make it better
How do we make it through
What do we do when there’s nothing we can do

We can be kind
We can take care of each other
We can remember that deep down inside we all need the same thing
And maybe we’ll find
if we are there for each other
that together we’ll weather whatever tomorrow may bring….

Sentimental, but real.

I only use “he” for god when I am talking or writing too fast to say “The-Infinite-World-Mind-Creator-Destroyer-Thing-That-Ties
All-of-us-together-and is-simultaneously-kitten gentle-and-Red-in-Tooth-and-Claw”.

that’ll do…

TRex-

You’ll always, always be in each others heart.

I know you know.

Peace and comfort and love to you and your beloved.

More last throes:

BAGHDAD (AFP) — Bombers have demolished a statue erected in Baghdad in memory of 32 children killed last year in an insurgent attack.

In July 2005 a suicide bomber detonated an explosives-laden car among a crowd of children who had gathered to collect sweets from U.S. soldiers near an old monument in the Baghdad al-Jadida downtown district.

To honor the memory of the 32 who were killed and 31 who were wounded, local artists used sections of the mangled car to create a sculpture to overlay the former statue in the

http://www.usatoday.com/news/w.....atue_x.htm

Thank You Rayne and TRex and astral. I love you all. TRex your synchronicities always amaze me. You reflect “As Above So Below” every single night.

She had looked it up online and has 7 out of 9 symptoms listed. She came to me right away because she knows I do healing work. I explained to her the only person we can heal is ourself, I can only guide her how to do it. I’m sure that surprised her, everyone seems to look to others or outside of themselves for help, healing, love, answers, or Godd/ess, when it is all within us at every moment. And yet everything is interconnected, we need each other, we have been everybody, we are everybody.

I stuck with some gentle basics for now, visualization techniques since she’s still reeling from the shock. We’re going to do an auric cleansing ritual soon, during that I will be flashed pictures of inside her body. Eventually I will talk about our soul blueprints we form before we incarnate on what lessons and karmic debts (good and bad) we decide on this time around. Sometimes we can heal from the worst of diseases, other times nothing will help simple maladies, if either is what our soul on a higher level decides to experience.

Sometimes we take on terrible diseases or a young death on a soul level more to teach the people around us. In this choice all involved progress on a spiritual level by lightyears. I feel this may be your friend’s choice TRex, look how many people she has touched tonight in this loving virtual community already. Your Higher Selves have known all along that you would have a perfect medium to share her story and stir the depths of our many souls reading about it, feeling your pain, your unconditional love. You and her family have the added gift of knowing her in person. Pure gold.

May angels speed your trip to your friend, TRex. The only thing worse than losing a friend is not being able to say goodbye. It’s been a year since I lost a close friend to brain cancer, and I still wish I could have gotten back.

I think the new song by country group Lonestar is one that speaks volumes:

Mountains - Lonestar

“There are times in life when you gotta crawl.
Lose your grip, trip and fall.
When you can’t lean on no one else
That’s when you find yourself.

I’ve been around and I’ve noticed that
the walkin’s easy when the road is flat.
Them danged ol’ hills will get you every time.
Yeah, the Good Lord gave us mountains…
so we can learn how to climb.

This world ain’t fair,
it’ll knock you on your butt.
You can just lie there -
or you can get back up.

Ya gotta get back up.”

At times like that, TRex, for some reason, perhaps a personal one, I am often reminded of this:

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless.

very sorry about your friend, TRex

Hey, punaise. Thank you.

You know, every time I put up a post, there is an awful moment right before I hit ‘publish’ where I think, “Is this a huge mistake? Do I need to hold this back and write something else tonight?”

And then we have a thread like this, where you see the best, kindest, most loving side of the community, and I realize how lucky I am to be able to share these stories with you all.

Thanks.

TRex @
93

Hey, punaise. Thank you.

You know, every time I put up a post, there is an awful moment right before I hit ‘publish’ where I think, “Is this a huge mistake? Do I need to hold this back and write something else tonight?”

And then we have a thread like this, where you see the best, kindest, most loving side of the community, and I realize how lucky I am to be able to share these stories with you all.

Thanks.

not a huge mistake by any stretch. you lay it on the line for us nightly, so why hold back now?

I haven’t read through the comments yet, but I’m sure they’re full of heartfelt, compassionate wishes.

TRex - This community wouldn’t be this community without posts like this one.

Well, you know, often times I write a post so fast that 11:00 comes and I swear it’s just barely held together with the verbal equivalent of twine and baling wire. Then I cross my fingers and throw it into the air like a kite, and somehow, miraculously, more often than not (so far), they seem to catch the wind and fly.

TRex,

Thanks for such a humanizing post. The snarkiest ones are always the sweet ones…

I am young, but I have lost so many people already, especially to cancer, that I should have something more profound, more true to say. But basically, there is much meaning to mine in times like this, and go for it.

It can be really thrilling.

Cathartic, too.

Oh, Man TRex - so sorry. Take it slow.

we stumble through this life in various ways, cobbling together our lives from the circumstances around us.

the “what ifs?” are infinite, but each path lived, specific.

but for a missed bus or some earlier fork in the road you may never have met her. so there is that, small solace that it may be.

TRex,
I am sorry about your friend. I am holding you both in my heart.

very sorry, TRex…

TRex @ 98

It can be really thrilling.

Cathartic, too.

Yes. Especially when entered into consciously.

TRex:

Not sure what more to say except thanks much, from the heart.

OT:

~For Rayne~

Will Thrillseeking Joey escape the clammy clutches of…

DIKULA?

;>)

TRex…I also send my and Dr.Turtles condolences at this difficult time for you and your loved ones.

we are back in Germany. Dr. Turtle went back to work this morning. I have some reading to catch up on and email and such, and tomorrow will be my first day at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, the largest military hospital in Europe. I plan on checking in with the soldiers and using my veteran status to advocate for them. I wish yo all well and Ill check in later tonight (your tomorrow)

Love, HopeSAT

TRex,

My closest friend in high school caught a tropical lung disease while serving in the band on the carrier Shangri La during the Vietnam War. Eventually all the band and USMC detachment (those berthed in the foc’s’l) died of the disese. Late in his Seattle hospitalization, I was down there from Alaska, fishing in the Straits of Juan de Fuca. I’d visit him at the VA Hospital on Beacon Hill. We’d play chess and talk about Mad magazine and crazy things we’d done.

I visited him several times. Occasionally, his wife would visit at the same time, with little Hal, their toddler son. One day, he got really serious, looked me in the eye and asked me to “take care of Lucy and Hal for me, Phil.” He knew I didn’t live in Seattle anymore, so I was able to home in on his wish fairly quickly. He was asking me to marry his wife after he died.

I didn’t know how to deal with it at all. I told him I would, like I was a politician making a promise, just briefly flickering him a direct look from time to time. We finished our current game of chess, played one more, hugged, and I left.

When I got out to the parking lot, his wife and son were there, almost as if it was pre-arranged. She was always sweet, but she really poured it on. I kept steering her talk to Dave and his quickly deteriorating condition. She kept getting closer. Inside I was freaking, ’cause I loved Dave like a brother, but wasn’t at all attracted to his very beautiful, very dull wife.

She and I hugged, longer and firmer than usual for these hospital goodbyes. She made me promise to come visit her in her apartment. I said I would.

I quit working on the boat I was crewing the next day and flew back to Alaska. Dave died three weeks later.

ET 107:

Jeezus, that’s heavy.