Peace, Pam, to you and your beautiful family.

Pam, thanks for writing. We’re very fond of your sister here. To echo watertiger, peace to you and yours.

thank you so much for sharing with us Pam, god speed to you and yours

Thanks for this. God(dess) bless your family.

Thanks, Pam, for sharing this with us. We really all do have Greta in our hearts right now, and it’s wonderful that you’d take the time to acknowldedge that.

Blessings and peace on you all.

A great life lived leaves a reflection on all who follow.

Karma is Karma, peace to all.

Pam:

You may think you’re “not half the writer Jane is” and it doesn’t matter. You have the hearts and minds of many strangers open to you. They all support you, and that’s all that matters.

I hope that everyone’s good thoughts can ease your pain.

My husband lost both his parents at once and grieved for a long time. Our best friend was recently killed and we’re still grieving. No one can tell when sorrow can come upon us… and we all must go on.

I hope you find peace in all the comments.

Pam, you weren’t rambling at all. It was a real pleasure to read your words about a wonderful, funny and strong woman, and I thank you for them.

I knew of your mom years ago through Jane’s book, and to read your words only reinforces my opinion of someone whom I’d never met, but still felt respect for. Thank you for sharing your memories of her with us.

Bob

Pam, that was lovely. So sorry for the loss for your whole family. And thank you for lending us Jane. Hugs to all of you from all of us. (Hope I get to meet you one of these days — we can swap Wallace and Gromit stories…)

Thanks Pam. We all wish you and your family the best in this time of troubles.

Nice shirt, Pam.

Pamela,

The woman you describe will be giving it to the other angels for having been so beautifully memorialized by her children

good to hear this community’s warm embrace reached your family’s hearts

will continue to send prayers of strength and comfort your way

maybe down the road, time and circumstance will allow you to check back in with this incredible ‘hey, let’s do this !’ thing

The picture of your mom reminds me of my mother so many years ago, with her black hair and all. Where does the time go? As an Oklahoman, as perhaps are you, I am particularly saddened by the loss of “one of our own”.

Pam, surely your mom is enchanting the angels.

-S

Continued prayers and much love to all of you.

Thanks so much to everyone. I had coffee with Oilfieldguy today, the time in Tulsa has been nice. He’s been doing lots of GOTV stuff that provided very interesting food for thought for the Roots project.

I’m going to be making my way up to Connecticut soon from Oklahoma, so if anyone wants Coffee with Kobe on the way, I’m buying.

Hospice is a true blessing, to both the dying and the living. A wise, wise suggestion, Pam.

Peace, to you, your husband, your kids, and the rest of your amazing extended family.

Jane and Christy always remind me of the Margaret Mead quote, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

I’m sure that Greta was an amazing woman to have raised 2 wonderful daughters. (You write beautifully and your own kind heart comes shining through your words.)

Wishing your entire family love and strength at this time.

Pam: Thanks for sharing a precious bit of your family history. Re Greta’s pic, I see a lot of intelligence and compassion, an unbeatable combination.

Jane:

You planning on being up in the northwest soon? I’ve got a few things to send you, don;t want them going to an empty house.

Blessed Be to all of your family. Pam your sharing has brought to mind my mother’s closing chapter and helped me deal a little more with her being gone. Love to all…

Dear Pam,

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us tonight. It’s an honor to make your aquaintance.

What an interesting phenomenon this community is. We are your sister’s cyber-tribe. We’re fierce and noisy and funny and sometimes rude, and as diverse as a ragtag band of misfits can be, but we are united by a love of our country and a belief that people have the power to make this world a better place.

We thank you for everything you have done to help make our Jane the incredible person that she is. We thank your family and we thank the spirit of your mother, who is watching you now and is so, so proud of her beautiful daughters.

Just like we are.

Come by any time.

You are never far from our thoughts and hearts.

Sincerely,
David Ferguson
(aka TRex)

Jane,

“I’m going to be making my way up to Connecticut soon from Oklahoma, so if anyone wants Coffee with Kobe on the way, I’m buying.”

If you’re taking the long route south and then north through Fort Worth, Texas…probably not ; )

Hi Pam!

Pam, words from the heart about the mom you love make for pretty fine writing. Thanks for sharing that with us.

Pamela,

Our hearts are with you. Thanks for stopping in to tell us about your Mom. That’s a great picture.

I was there when I was 14 as my grandfather died. I wrote about it once on this site.

http://www.firedoglake.com/200…..can-dream/

It was a real treasure for your son to know your mother and share these last days with her and all of you around her.

He’ll never forget it.

Pam,
Thanks for including so many strangers in your warmth. It’s easy to forget how big our hearts are–even bigger together. Your generosity reminds us.

Pam and Jane,

Thank you for being who you are and sharing your thoughts with us. You and yours will remain in my prayers. I have to say I’ve found the response by the “firepups” to be very moving.

Pam, thank you for posting that. Three incredible women in one family.

I have found it quite amazing how the humanity of Jane, Christy and so many others here has managed to emerge from the written words on my PC. Your sister and you obviously are apples which did not fall far from the tree and as your dear departed mother has much to have been thankful for in you two girls, you have so much to be thankful in the precious human being she was.

We out here are very thankful for what went into making Jane. She is a gift of enormous magnitude, to us and to this nation, which is soon to discover how she is so deeply needed.

The making of such a magnificent person is the job of an entire family, so we are honored (I sure am) to be witness to her energy, intellect and good sense.

Thanks to you, your mom, your dad for sharing Jane with us. You and this nation will see this gift returned many times over.

Peace be with you…

May you sail through life with fair winds and a following sea.

Jane,

If you’re in NYC, give me a shout!

Coming through Georgia on the way to Connecticuit hardly seems likely, but should you find yourself headed this way, Jane, you know I’d be ecstatic to meet you.

Pam- thank you so much. It was a wonderfully written piece. What is important to me about the writing that I read is whether or not it is written with a true voice. Jane writes with a true voice. You write with a true voice. That makes all the difference.

Cozumel — I think Ft. Worth may be a bit of a detour. The dogs are in open rebellion after their 30 hour forced march from Oregon to Oklahoma, so they are going to be limiting us to a slow 3-400 mile per day. The up side of this, I’ll be able to do the regular afternoon/evening blogging. I’m sure the dogs are also thrilled about that.

Watertiger — would love to see you. Is New York on the way to Connecticut? (I think I better start figuring this out, I’m supposed to leave tomorrow. I bought makeup and bras today so I am well supplied.)

Jane at 6:24 p.m.

You wouldn’t happen to be passing through Topeka would you? If so I would love to have coffee with you. But I imagine you are probably headed up I-44.

Jane,

I don’t know if there is anything I could do for you in the NYC area, but I am at your disposal. All you need to is ask… here in your site or in an email.

Ditch the bra, Jane. Do it Thelma-Louise style.

Oh, and if you end up in DC, I’ll get you a nice meal.

I guess this means no detour through Berkeley…

Pam,

Thinking of you and wishing you peace and love in your time of sorrow.

Jane- I’d say try to avoid I95 for as long as possible. The DC area traffic is terrible. So that’s my 2 cents. Anyone correct me if I am wrong, bec. I’ve only done part of that about 6 times.

Jane,

If you’re coming through NC (which seems doubtful), please look me up. You have lots of friends down here, lots of open doors.

Pamela, all the best to you. Thank you for your kind words.

My aunt recently passed, and my parents enthusiastically spoke of hospice. It’s a wonderful cause, and well worth supporting. My wife volunteers. It’s God’s work.

VG at 41 — No, it pretty much still sucks. Just did it going to and from the Take Back America conference, and it took me an hour and a half into town — and the same amount of time out (from Dupont Circle, mind you, straight out on Connecticut…). Blergh.

Ditch the bra, Jane. Do it Thelma-Louise style.

I just had this image of Jane peeling out in a red convertible, swinging her bra in the air over her head.

Hmm – looks like I’ll be in Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Pennsylvania and NYC on my way to Connecticut. Well watertiger get ready, me and the poodles are buying your coffee.

Jane,

“I think Ft. Worth may be a bit of a detour”

No doubt! ; ) I use Yahoo “maps” (driving directions) a bunch, highly recommend. Also, all Hampton Inn’s have WiFi, just FYI.

Jane, if you pass thru Northern Virginia, which is on I-95 en route to Connecticut, we have a guest room and enormous pet house (larger than my first apartment) and would be truly honored to have you stay with us.

Pach has my actual address or I am happy to send it to you by email. Think about it?

Jane Hamsher @ 6:39 pm (#34) – I think the normal thing is to detour around New York City on your way to Connecticut, so it wouldn’t be out of your way. I-80 will take you right there if you’re headed straight east. If you’re coming up from the south, then I-78 and the Jersey Turnpike both go right near NYC.

Pam and Jane and Christy, thanks for taking the time to share so much of yourselves and your families with us. How fortunate you are to have such warm and loving memories. Peace and harmony to you.

Thank you for introducing us to Greta, Pam, and for your kind response to what is heartfelt empathy and sorrow at learning of her death. As you can see, Jane and Christy have created a wonderful living room full of great stories, incredible people and honest emotion that you won’t find anywhere else in the blogosphere. Having you in the rocking chair with your family is just perfect.

As the resident hospice nurse, I want to thank you all, Greta especially, for supporting our work. As you know, many hospices are not-for-profit and memorial contributions are especially meaningful to us. Death is the end of one thing and is just as surely the beginning of something we just don’t yet understand. In your grief, I believe you will find an abiding peace as well.

Blessings to you all.

Tanny/zennurse

So, Jane, are you heading up to CT to be boots on the ground for the Lamont campaign, or are you just going to toilet-paper Joe Lieberman’s house?

Drive carefully, Jane. And tell us about any good bumper stickers that you see.

Zennurse – I so honor the work you do. Actually, it was either Jane’s or Christy’s idea to give to Hospice. I smacked myself on the forehead when Jane told me. I first experienced the phenomenal work of Hospice when my mother’s twin sister (Freda – another strong woman) had cancer 15 years ago in Houston.

Jane, where in CT are you going to land?

Going to see that Bob Adams guy or will you just be staying with Ned and the family?

I suppose I could go to DC and see Pach et. al. via West Virginia. Though I would never inflict the dogs on Christy’s poor white carpet.

Jane — if you’re going through Illinois and Indiana (I-74?) you’ll hit Ohio afore Pennsylvania. You will be passing through Indianapolis so if there’s anything I can do …

Christy,

You have a three year old and white carpet? Wow!

Beautiful words indeed, and so meaningful to anyone who has lost a parent.

My condolences to you and yours.

It’s the Jane-a-palooza Tour – Summer of 2006. Book your dates now.

Jane,

Depending on your route – and your final destination in CT – you can pass through NYC.

Once you’ve figure out how you want to get there, let me know.

Pam, and Jane, our thoughts are with you.

Such a good thing for us all to honor your mother and remember our own. Thank you.

Jane – as you plan your trip you may pass near here in north east Pa. Depends on where in Ct you are going. If you would like a place to let your dogs out in a well fenced yard, I live not far off 80 about 90 miles from NYC. I’m off to a dog show next Wed but will be back on Sunday and you and your crew would be very welcome.

Jane- AAA may be un-PC in some ways but if you have membership, their maps and guidebooks are great- especially for finding lodging late in the day. However, if you have found a hotel chain that likes the doggies, has good internet access, that’s another way to chart the course. Or maybe you have figured this out. And avoid the underwires. Painful.

Vienna VA conveniently located between Redd and Pach…Open door for your and your little ones…Redd and Pach et al are welcome to come on over for dinner. Party!

lisadawn at 57 — it wasn’t intentional. We had our baby girl, and then found the house of our dreams…which happened to come with lovely, berber, off-white carpet. I do a lot of steam cleaning…

Thank you, Pam, but the truth is we get just as much if not more from our work as our patients and families do. I saw and 86 year old couple today who knew each other as kids when he was stationed in Boston. They went dancing twice a week until he got transferred. They each married other people and raised families, then their respective spouses died. He called her up after 50 years and they were married for 15 years with never a harsh word spoken. He died today at 3 and it was such an honor to be with that family, surrounded by all that love, I can’t describe it.

And they pay me for this…..

Christy – Try raising TWO BOYS on an off-white carpet…heeheehee.

Pade @ 6:53 pm (#62) – Sounds like you live near Scranton. Or are you south of I-80?

zen that love story makes me cry…thank you.

Pam at 67 — no thanks — I’m already surviving a three year old, a cat with a hairball problem (even with special food), a fiesty dachshund, a German exchange student and a husband. If I had to add in two boys, I think I’d just give up and pull up the carpet. *g*

Cujo@6:55 I’m south of Blakeslee down 115. Are you near?

zennurse,

beauty inside and out.

My partner and I are also, it must be told, big Wallace and Grommit fans.

We occasionally do that little shaking of the clenched hands that Wallace does. If you’ve seen the shorts or the movie, you know what I mean.

Jane, where in the hell does one find lodging for 3 standard poodles on the road? Seems like a daunting prospect to me.

Christy at 6:57

I bet that German exchange student is really hard on the white carpet…

Hi Pam,

The photo is lovely as is your post. Warmest thoughts to your whole family. And thank you for sharing so much.

Pade @ 6:57 pm (#117) – No, I grew up in the Lehigh Valley (Easton and Nazareth). I visit there every once in a while, so I still remember most of the roads. I’ve been up near Blakeslee once or twice. Nice area, and still pretty rural and/or unsettled where I was.

Speaking of bumper stickers… FDL needs one and a T shirt and cap too!

you’re welcome, egregious.

I have to sleep now, zennursing tomorrow, early appt far away. I’ll check back tomorrow to see where Jane’s going in CT, might be within driving distance just to have a sighting or a little visit….

Kathryn, the photos are great, my Matt o. makes him look like a criminal; my son even said “He looks really mean!” and he’s such a sweetie!
(Hi, Mark—er, Matt!)

BTW, Christy isn’t the only one who is a little punchy…the threads today were tres amusing, you are all a little nuts! I am hating missing these saturday morning hangouts over coffee, I vote that once a month we do it on a weekday, just for mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I never get to do Book club either, waaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

night-night, sleep tight.
You guys are great

neurophius @ 6:59 pm (#75) – All that beer and sauerkraut. Must be awful.

DefJef — we have the t-shirts:

http://www.cafepress.com/firedoglake

Oh, wt, takes one to know one!!

;-) xxoo

Pam,

Thank you very much for sharing your story. I think you are a great writer and I am glad that you posted it here. Your mother sounded like an amazing woman. As for Hospice, yes it is a great program. After my father died, my mother joined Hospice and still today works with them.

Jane, Drive safe, watch out for the speed limits in those small towns. Sure hope to meet you when you come to Connecticut.

neurophius @ 75 – my husband and I got a good laugh on that one.

dogeatdogi @ 76 – the last couple of days I’ve teared up looking at that photo –

what was really funny yesterday was that Jane and I were looking through photos – and my mother was a twin. We were asking each other “Is this Freda or Mom ?” every 5 minutes.

last one, I swear.

I’ve wanted bumper stickers since the FDL store opened.

wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

(ok, I’m done)

zennurse at 79 — for you, we’ll work something out, honey.

Cujo@7:00 I’m not too far from Route 33. I go past Nazareth and Easton all the time. I’m west just off 209. A great place to live with 9 dogs or so.

requiescat in pace

(((((((((((((((((((Christy)))))))))))))))))))))

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

and Christy,

***waving to you***

What a gentle, kind spirit that photograph captures.

Your parents sound like a beautiful team, Pam. I’m sure their daughters made them proud as punch.

Thank you for sharing your family with us. I feel honored. There aren’t too many people who can match Jane’s ability to put words together so that they slice and dice and highlight like a swift and light dagger flashing in the sun. Your words are a loving tribute to a loving woman.

Pam, thank you so much, again. I hope you don’t mind a bit of frivolity here. That’s part of what makes FDL such a great place.

op99,

“Jane, where in the hell does one find lodging for 3 standard poodles on the road? Seems like a daunting prospect to me.”

There are hotels that are pet friendly but if it was me, I would employ one of the following…

1) Sneak them in.

2) Slip the hotel manager a $20.

But that’s me ; )

op99 — Holiday Inns and Comfort Inns both usually allow pets and have wifi, the sine qua non of poodle travel.

Valley Girl @ 92 – My mother lived with my family…she thrived on frivolity. ;)

Hugs to Pam and Jane, and all the rest of you guys.

Pam, okay then. Will you please pass on some advice to Jane, if you happen to talk to her? She said something earlier about buying bras. Jane, don’t get the ones with underwires. They bite back. And, if you need panties, make sure you don’t get the ones with the days of the week written on them. TRex has alluded to the horrors of that. If you know what I mean.

Pam — Thank you so much for writing us. I think many of us re-experienceed similar times in our own lives as we left condolences for Jane and her family. Just as your your time with your mother before her death deepened the bonds in your family, so our shared sorrow deepened the bonds in the FDL community. At least, so it felt to me. Oh, and in case Jane forgot to warn you, once you’ve participated, you have to come back. Rules are rules, and I hope we hear from you again.

Pam, I enjoyed hearing from you and seeing a picture of your mother. Best wishes to you and all of your family. I am a former Oklahoman, by the way, born and grew up in Oklahoma City.

Pam -

Your writing and story was elegant. Thanks.

I use the word ‘elegant’ not only in the traditional meaning, but as it has been adapted in the ‘computing community.’ As in a pithy solution the hits the desired target in a very compact and effective way. Likely, the ‘best’ of all possible choices. (As opposed to ‘kludge’.) Your mother, her determination, and her wit, shine on in both her girls.

Peace.

What a beautiful spirit she had! Here is a poem that the Hospice nurses gave me: Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of Earth. Hold on to what you believe in, even if it is a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here. Hold onto life even if it is easier to let go. Hold onto my hand, even when I have gone away. (Pueblo Indian prayer) God Bless.

Pam, I’m doing the math on your mom, and I calculate she was a child of the depression, and graduated high school during WWII. I’ll bet there are some stories there.

op99 @ 101 – oh a boatload of them….and Jane and I can just about recite them by heart.

Pam,

We are so glad you could visit with us this evening. And we are more than willing to do anything to help. I’ll be visiting that link you put up in a minute. Your directions to Panera were right on, and thank you for that.

Jane,

I try to stay at Best Western every chance I get. They nearly always have ethernet.

Blank Kludge @ 7:14 pm (#101) – In engineering “elegant” is high praise. It means the maximum utility for the minimum in construction and upkeep.

Thanks Pam you did your MOM !! PROUD it showed. Your memories are the gold your MOTHER LEFT to us at FDL Thanks for the great post we needed your words from a LOVING HEART

Oh, pets, I just saw that and it sounds like you have it figured out,

Pam, my mom was the same era, and I just loved hearing about those days, and what it was like to have FDR, Stalin, Hitler, etc. in the newspapers instead of the history books.

She’s got new legs to keep up with her daughters.

Blank Kludge @ 99 – I thank thee; I am a computer engineer.

We miss Greta, too.

But there’ll be lots of cheese in Heaven!

Right, then.

Wonderful post, and so thoughtful of Pam and Andrew Hamsher (in the recipes) to send us a few words at this difficult time. I think your mom produced two very good writers and she must have been very proud of both her daughters. My ympathies to family and friends.

My Great grandfather used to tell me stories on the porch. Said he remembered the mighty Mississippi running backwards. I thought he was telling windies until years later in a school textbook I read about earthquakes causing the Mississippi to run backwards.

op99 @ 107 – My husband just commented that much of his and Mom’s coversation over the last week was on Johnathan Alter’s book “The Defining Moment” on the first 100 days of the FDR administration.

Jane,

It was good to see you today. CHS teased me about gushing over you two flights down.

Jane, it’s starting to look like I’m going to get away with being in town for the Lamont-Lieberman debate after all! YAY!

I’ll be in touch when I firm up the details, but it’s looking very promising. I might be a bit sunburned and unwashed, and I’ll have to arrange a ride to and from my boat in Essex, but I’m gonna try like hell to be there!

OilFieldGuy @ 114 – Dang ! Jane invited me to your meeting this morning – I wish I’d seen that !

Pam,

Are you a member of the OKnetroots?

Oilfieldguy @ 117 – nope, hubby hasn’t heard of them either (?)…

Pam 114, your husband sounds like a real prince. It’s a blessing when there’s love between the in-laws.

Bless you Pam and Jane and the rest of your family. My mom was a nurse and asked that contributions after her death be made to hospice, and I for one found so much comfort from the people who chose to do the kind of work. A hospice nurse sent me a poem after the funeral that I liked:

When you were born
You cried and the whole world rejoiced.
Live your life so that
When you die
The whole world will cry and you will rejoice.

I haven’t been able to login for awhile and am sorry to hear of your loss. There’s so much in this entry that says so many good things. Your husband, your mother and you were all blessed to have each other. Not many son in-laws would have treated a mother in law so well and vice versa. To have 3 generations under the same roof, is so rare and wonderful. I’m certain it was beneficial to all. Even your mother’s choice of where to contribute shows so much class.

From what you’ve said, I can see folks saying to St. Peter: “Ya gotta let me in, I know Greta Hamsher Murphy”.

Pach is building a ground up loose knit coalition of political activism. WEchoose the topics we would like to address and the over all national organization lends advice on how to implement. Total control lays with the locals. If pach is still here he can shoot out his email to sign you up. I really need help, as our state group has been basically inert.

op99 @ 119 – Loren (hubby) was actually able to make my mother turn colors she was laughing so hard at his jokes…

Pam,

Greta left us a couple a really fine people…for that we are all grateful. Embrace your grief, for it is for some measure of good that is lost that you grieve. But please accept that she leaves behind at least much as she takes…and that is all a Mom wants.

KEEP THE FAITH AND DO THE RIGHT THING…THAT’S ALL SHE’D ASK!!!

OFG and anyone else:

Stick around 20 minutes. Late Nite will include a link with instructions for signing up for the Roots Project.

Ron Russell @ 121 – Thank you so much for your kind words. They made me smile.

Speed traps: 270 north of Washington; and I-95 thru Delaware.

Pam and Jane, I posted this the other night. I came across it somewhere, years ago.

This will make you feel better

A doctor came to a small town
Opened his office above the general store
Put out a sign
Said simply, The Doctor Is Upstairs
The town was poor and many couldn’t pay
He was invited to dinners and given fresh eggs and meat
He kept the whole town healthy and happy is whole life
The whole town turned out for his funeral
Used his sign for a marker
Said simply
The Doctor Is Upstairs

I wonder what your mom Greta’s favorite recipes were. When the time is right, it would be nice to add a couple to the recipe thread.

wesgpc @ 129 – That’s going to be one of Jane’s and my projects in the future – my mother was an absolute kick-ass cook (it took me 43 years to get her pie-crust down) and there are 3 shelves of cookbooks and file cabinets full of both her’s and her twin sister’s recipes….

Pam- when I first discovered FDL Loren’s name was up as a contributor. I didn’t see any of his articles, but I did read some of his comments re: journalism. Loren, how can we twist your arm to post an article?

Tulsa to St.Louis to Indianapolis (you lucky bastard *ilson46201)to Columbus to Akron/Youngstown to Wilkes-Barre to Hartford.
Anyone else on the route?

Pam: Well, anyway, I’m rambling, and not half the writer Jane is.

Few people are.

Your Mom was beautiful!

Valley Girl @ 131 – (Loren) Come take care of 3 year old Russell and I will.

Jane, where in CT? Gonna be in Greenwich on the 1st, I’ll buy. Go Ned!

Yeah, Loren, we need a visit from you more regular like.

Those are lovely memories and that photo is beautiful.

Pam- and how can we twist your arm for another article? I’m sure you can come up with something better than 101 ways to clean a white carpet. I am just offering that as a possibility for the ultimate fall-back position.

Yo, la Kosa Nostra…

How do I apply to become a Made Man? This crazy Westies Irishman (see “State of Grace“) will break Gooper rhetorical kneecaps anytime 24/7.

Jane and Pam,
My belated condolences for your loss. (Just got back a couple of days ago after several weeks out of the country.) Your mother comes alive through your writing as a wonderful person, as do you your selves. My dad passed away at about the same age 33 years ago, just a month shy of his 82nd birthday. I still miss him, although I’ve long since accepted his passing, and am comforted by knowing that he had his health up until the last week of his life. It would have been very hard on as active a person as he was to linger for months or years after the onset of his final illness, which in his case was a stroke. I gather it may have been similar with your mother. Best wishes to you and your families.

Pam
Thank you for writing. Your Mother sounds like she was an incredible woman as are her daughters.
Thank you

Valley Girl @ 138 – Just about the only other thing I can write about is how to create your own Oracle database. Jane is and always has been the writer in the family. I’m the engineer.

Jane’s the girl, lol.

Much love to Pam and Jane, and their families.

What a wonderful mom you two had. I, too, was blessed with an amazing mom. She left this world twelve years ago this July. I was fortunate enough to care for her with the help of hospice.

Our thoughts are with you guys. And Jane, I hauled two overly-adored Labradors from Florida to California last year. I *do* identify.

Pam #132: Great. I hope a few of your mom’s recipes can make into the recipes thread before your cookbook comes out. I laughed when you said that it took you 43 years to get a recipe out of her. Reminds me of the grandmothers and greataunts and uncles in my family who were great cooks. We’d ask for the recipe and they would say “Recipe!? What recipe? Can’t you see what’s in it? Why, you just take some of this and that, and add a little of thus and so. Then you cook it up. You can see how it’s cooked can’t you. Ain’t no recipe. Go ahed and try it out yourself.”

Well, I am defeated by how to melt chocolate without turning it into gray library paste, so their admonitions were useless.

I want to add an old family recipe for nutty fig carob candy to the thread. Couldn’t get instructions for that. They just threw it together and coulnd’t understand anything being hard about it. I will look for the later generations’ attempt to reproduce it, which I have written down someplace.

My grandmothers wonderful very thin and very flakey pie crust consisted of some trick you did with ice cold lard and flour ingrediants. We begged and begged and she finally gave us a lesson. I tried it a couple of times later and it came out like saltines soaked a very long time in water.

I think if they find a elixer for immortality, the cooks should be first in line.

OFG… 124

Our state (Oklahoma) “basically inert”? Who said that? Duh…dat sounds like lead pipes, chains, baseball bats and rumble talk to me. Hey… somebody wanna to play!? What needs doing?

I never know what to say when a loved one dies.

Condolences, and thank you, Pam, for sharing your story.

Pam- my sister is not exactly a computer engineer- she’s the computer sys admin for a dept at UCSD. So, she deals with computers. And that hasn’t exactly stopped her from having *opinions* about things!

Minnesotachuck @ 140 – Because she was so active, it became increasingly frustrating for her to become more and more infirm. To the point of turning the air slightly blue.

OK kiddo,
Check the late night thread tonight. Pach will put up a link for you to sign up. I have one player and it’s a doozy. Need more.

Pam, thinking of you and Jane. Jane, drive safely.

I feel like a cold chisel in a room full of skill saws.

Valley Girl @ 138 – I have opinions, I just don’t argue well. Jane always beat me at it.

Christy @ 70,
So, you have a Dachshund, huh? Maybe someday you’ll be interested in a Dachshund Floor Lamp, designed by my son. :)
http://www.jorgeliving.com/shoppingcart/agora.cgi

Pam, I’m sure you’re a cool as your sister. Thanks for posting. Really, REALLY ache for your loss. Words fail.

Pam, 13 posts, not bad for a first-timer. Thanks for taking the time to tell us about Greta and her family. Hope to see/read more from you in the future. Cheers.

Pam- hmmmm… that might be setting too high a standard for yourself. I doubt that many could beat Jane at that. And, composing the written word does afford a bit more time for marshalling one’s thoughts and arguments. And, heck, if you’ve spent all these years trying to outwit Jane, you have probably gotten an education in debate that will “serve you well” – to use a kinda tired phrase. Seriously.

Pam – how kind of you to take the time to visit with us. Your sister has welcomed us into this family circle and made sure the furniture was comfy and I hope you too will come by and visit again. Your tales of your Mom’s great humor made me laugh and then realize that now we know where Jane gets her very good snark!

Jane – dear friend – if you drive through IL, you have a home in Chicago anytime and our building is dog heaven!

Twisted Martini, Lizzy, everyone else — hope to see you in Connecticut, we’ll be doing “Coffee With Kobe” regularly and everyone is (as always) invited.

CT Bob — I just sent you an email. So glad you’re going to be around for the debate, it should be a good one.

Pam, Jane,
What a lovely photograph — it really
shows her spirit coming through.

Pam: I second the earlier thoughts on
elegance in your words: in mathematics
we have the same concept of elegance
as in computer science, except there
really is a connotation of beauty
as well as efficiency…. Can we hope
that you will occasionally grace FDL
with a guest post?

Jane: good luck with the trip — I am
sure that you won’t be passing through SC
on the way or I’d offer a golden retriever
a sheltie/mix mutt for the poodles to run
around with….

BB

Pam, thanks for sharing the lovely thoughts and pictures with us. (That book smart-street smart pair you describe sound a bit familiar;-)

Will get Hospice on my agenda.

Pam, Thanks for sharing kind thoughts and wonderful photos. When in Tulsa in good times and not so good, I always enjoyed a walk in the wonderful rose garden along the river. I found my mind wandering to those memories while thinking of you all this week. If Jane reads this and is considering a most scenic route on her first day of travel. We have wonderful coffee and scenic walks for progressive poodles, as I am sure you are aware of. Take care for now.

Michael Fraterigo
acoolway at earthlink dot net

Pam,

Thanks for letting us know you, too. Your Mom looks beautiful and sounds so very sweet and funny– obviously her girls inherited a sense of smarts, grace and beauty. It is wonderful that you could all be together during this time. How lovely that you are so close and that your Mom lived with you and was so loved by your husband– so special that he held her hand at night and watched over her.

It’s sometimes rare in our crazy, modern, too fast world to maintain close contact with those we love. For a grandparent to share in the daily lives of their grandchildren keeps their hearts and mind young. Blessings and peace to all of you. Jane, thanks for checking in with us and be safe on your drive up North.

P.S. I wish I still lived in CT both to meet you and vote for Ned.

Minnesotachuck @146 Love the lamps – there are dachshunds(wires)and Airedales at this house. With whiskers I would be interested but will pass the info to my friends with smooths.

Pam and Jane – I love the picture of your mother. My own mom is almost 76, and your mom’s picture reminds me of my mother’s engagement picture – which would have been in 1951 (I think – she and my dad were married in 1952, the November after she graduated from college).

I grieve for your loss, more so as you all have shared more about your mother.

Pam, thank you for sharing with us tonight. Jane, I hope you and the doggies have a safe trip to CT. We’ve been having crazy thunderstorms and flooding here in Maryland, and with the summer getting into full swing, the I-95 corridor may be one you’ll want to avoid. Jersey turnpike is the godawful-est boring drive ever (I spent months driving up and down from MD to NJ after my uncle died, settling his estate).

Peace to the entire family; it sounds like you all have so many good memories to help you through this loss. And you have us, whenever you need us.

Dear Pam and Jane,

Pam, with a few well-chosen quotations and anecdotes, you have given us a beautiful insight into your mother’s character. You have also demonstrated the first axiom of writing, “show, don’t tell!” Thanks for showing us a bit of your mother. Peace to you both, and to your family.

The problem with being a writer is sometimes the tools — words — don’t seem up to the task. I feel deeply for your family, and yet I’ve met Jane only on these pages and at the FDL brunch in Las Vegas. How does that entitle me to say anything meaningful? I don’t know, and I don’t know what I would say that would be meaningful anyway. But my heart goes out to you and yours. I cannot imagine how difficult this is, mostly because I really don’t want to have to feel what you’re feeling right now. But I guess we must and do in some small measure, as part of this community.

God bless.

Pam,
You and Jane are blessed to have had such a loving mother. How lucky for your children that she lived with you for a few years so that they could get to know her better. Many of us here have lost beloved parents and have some idea of your grief. The hole inside closes up with time but never entirely heals.

Pam Murphy Farr, thanks so much for your kind post.

Pam,
You sell your writing short. The world is today diminished by one, but made greater by the two she gave us.
God bless you both.

Peace be with you.

Jane and Pamela,

My most heart-felt sympathies. I, too, lost my mother a few years ago, but under different circumstances. My mother had a cerebral aneurysm and lived. While she’s still “alive”, she’s now a totally different human being. Offering advice at a time like this is both trite and cruel. I understand. But please, just allow yourselves the luxury of memory. Talk and laugh and cry about everything that you loved about your mama. To paraphrase John Irving in The World According to Garp…you’re gonna have to miss her for the rest of your lives, so the world will just have to forgive you now for wallowing in it.

We love you. We understand. We’re here for you.
All my love-
M

Hugs and love to you Pam.
Hug the young’n.
And hug your DH with the great gams.

For many people, I think, patriotism is a sense of family written large.

My guess is that Jane’s sense of commenction and fierce loyalty was learned early. So we all benefit, and your mother’s legacy continues and will continue — for who knows how many generations and along who knows how many distant “family” connections.

peace

My thoughts are also with you and I heartily second the support of hospice. They do wonderful work!

Just wanted to pipe up, a little late because of family obligations this weekend. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Jane, and my prayers have been with you and your family. I know you have a solid bedrock of support to keep you going during this tough time. Bless you and keep you, all of you – from your fellow Mills-ite, Leila Abu-Saba.

Pam, thanks for joining us here. Graciousness and good humor clearly runs in the family.

Jane, if you do happen to come through the DC area (though it’s probably not the most direct route), I would be more than happy to join Pach and egregious in providing hospitality.

Pam and Jane,

Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss.

Peace and love to all.

Pam — Thank you for sharing those stories. Peace be with you.

Pam, I am so sorry for your family’s loss, although I wanted to thank you for sharing these stories of your family with us. It is difficult (it sucks, really :-)) to lose a parent at any age, but these memories of humor and love (and family closeness) certainly help.

At any rate, to Jane and Pam both– your mother seems absolutely wonderful (that photo is beautiful — her eyes look full of spirit and strength) and it seems she certainly passed down those qualities to her daughters (and grandkid(s), too, I’m sure :-)) God bless.

being mostly a lurker, it has been an honor to witness this community gather around jane and you during this time of grief. as i read and thought about many of the comments in the past several days, i could not help but remember the passing of my mother a few years ago. i still remember the stories and the laughs and the tears. please come back to share more with us all.

Dear Pam, and your son, and husband,

It’s a comfort to know that your family found solace in the sentiments offered by the caring community of folks here at Firedoglake.

Your mother is so beautiful, and truly she must have been and will continue to be for all of you a remarkable woman.

Thank you for providing a lovely photo for the woman who we have all held in the light these last days.

Peace

how beautiful she is, and you both are! thank you for sharing her with us, and her for sharing you.

loads of light,
Terri

Pamela and Jane;

My mom was born the same year as yours, so your loss is very much understood here. My condolences and best wishes are extended to you both and to the rest of your family and friends. The grace and wit and courage she displayed by the stories you’ve told share with us a little bit of the exceptional woman you’ve enjoyed, and I thank you for that.

May you each find peace in the many warm memories of her that will always remain monumental – or momumental – in your lives.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Pam. Peace to you and your family.

Jane if you’re going through the Philly/South Jersey area, hit me up for a meal. It’s my favorite thing to do, cook and share a meal.

I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you posted this, Pam, but thank you for writing. Greta was obviously a special woman, and we know her daughters are too. I’m glad you and Jane have so many good memories of your mother to keep in your hearts.

Pam,
What a beautiful photograph. I am sorry for the passing of your dear mother. I hope our community can help in some small way to give you, Jane, and your family comfort. And you are a fine writer.

Pam, thanks for dropping in to tell us more about your Mom. You Murphy girls are so obviously of good stock, as they say.

Peace to you and Jane, and to your departed mother’s soul.

Jane!

Your sister’s last name jumped out at me: I rarely encounter others who share my my own, and I doubt very much that we’re related through her husband, but it still makes me wonder. My own family comes from Wales and northern Ireland in the person of Henry Farr and Jane Quinn (1790s). They settled near Elmira, NY, more specifically Horseheads.

I wish you strength and healing, but you will always miss a mother like this. At least you have the strong foundation and can always be grateful for the gift of being raised by one like her. My mother-in-law was one of the good ones too. I see her handiwork every day in the person of my wife.

Peace,
JHFarr

What a beautiful face you got to gaze on as a baby and a growing child. I am glad that you all got to be with her and comfort her as she did for you in years past. I know that she must have felt, at the end, “I’ve definitely had a life well-lived.”

JWP@176: For many people, I think, patriotism is a sense of family written large. Beautiful, and a great theme for FDL.

To Pam & Jane: I feel as though I’m at an Irish wake. Last thing before I went to sleep and first thing this am.

The two of you remind me how much I care for my own sisters, and how important they are in tender times.

Nice shirt, Pam! God, she sounds like a member of my own family.

Also, Pam, I’m a geek too, and after spending years reading bad writing by geeks, I appreciate your writing ability. It’s a rarity in the field.

Peace Pam and Jane

I attended the memorial service for Chris Smith, who had been Chair of our CD for the last 30 years, yesterday. Our Governor, our Congressman, and the VP of the UAW gave heartfelt tributes. Both US Senators sent video tributes. All of these people, several of them towering historical figures in their own right, expressed gratitude for the friendship and integrity and generosity that Smith and his family had given them. With all the discussion of family, I thought several times of you, your family, and the family Jane and Christy have built here. Chris Smith and his family has been a real cornerstone of the politics of the last century. And by building such a family here, we can be the cornerstone of the politics of this century. But it really does take family. So thanks for joining us, Pam.

Jane,

My deepest heart-felt condolences to you. Pam’s beautiful tribute reminded me how very much I miss my mom.

Peace to you.

If the evidence of a life well lived is in what has been left behind as a legacy, it would seem that judging from you, you mother led a worthy and productive life, indeed. Your mom done good.

Pam:
Your mother must have been one hell of a woman. Your sister, Jane, has such a tremendous following because her online writings reflect one thing that this country is in sore need of….Truth! That takes careful teaching, and that reflects on your mother and father. As I have told Jane often. Eventually, this is going to become the mainstreem media, and all the MSM will have is fancy empty buildings.
Your parents were, and are amazing people. In the coming years, may their names be for a blessing on your lips.
All the best,
Cynic
(Raphael E. Serebreny)
Palo Alto, California

epu’d, no doubt, but in case Pam or Jane reads this: adding my condolences on the loss of your mother, and best wishes for the recovery process to come. It sounds like it was what used to be called “a good death,” for you and for her, with her family gathered roundt to comfort her.
I missed the news because I was internet-less all week while visiting my own 87-yr. old mother, helping her sort out some personal business decisions and driving her places she can’t get to on her own. She made a lot of references to the time when I’ll be sorting through her papers and belongings “after she’s gone”, as if it might be next week. She, too, has her faculties, but is getting more frail.
I know you feel the love from all the Firedoggies who regularly visit here. just sorry mine was late.

A lovely remembrance. Best wishes.

Much love and prayers to you. Your mother was a wonderful person and will always be remembered fondly.

Pam,

Your mother was obviously loved. Condolences to you and your family.

Dear Jane and Pam,

I am heartbroken over the news of your mother’s passing. It’s been many years, but seeing her picture, it seems like yesterday. What a woman.

Thoughts are with you both and with Greta.

Tina

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom last year and she is the person who taught me almost everything I know about caring about people and politics. I miss my mom every single day and I wish I had her here to talk with her about what is happening today. Thank you for your website and thank you for sharing your personal thoughts. May God Bless!

“Rambling” is really just speaking from the heart and letting the words come out freely. That is a gift. So ramble on, and know that, speaking from the heart, I believe what you wrote was beautifully worded and very warmly embraced by all of us. Hugs.

Jane, I am truly sorry you are going through the death of your mother.

Pam & Jane
Condolances to you both. Your mother Greta sounds like she was a really spunky lady. I wish I could have known her.

Your descriptions remind me of my Granny, who raised 6 kids in the dust bowl and sent them all through college. Even though the family was living in a chicken coop for a while. She was a piece of work. Funny, religious and tough as nails. She intimidated my brother (the farmer) into going to college & finishing even though he couldn’t see that he needed it.
“Your grandfather & I went bankrupt farming, you could too. Don’t you think you should have some thing in reserve? By the way I understand you’ve inherited the family arthritis. How long will you be able to farm?….” After a couple years of that he went to college and got a B.S. with endorsements outside of agriculture.

I’ve lived in New Orleans & learned to cook some of my favorites (stuffed mirlitons, oyster dressing…) But sometime soon I’ll dredge up Granny’s Plum pudding recipe. Guaranteed to clog your arteries. But so good. At least if your a real WASP like me.

Pam & Jane
My condolences. Lost my mother of about the same age a couple years ago. It hurts like having a limb avulsed. Hospice did make things much easier on all of us during the last year though.
Folks, the work the Hospice people do is invaluable. Support them.