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"It’s craptastic!"

Welcome to "Face the Snark," a weekly review of irony-filled marottes the Left wields against the fantasy-based community.

Retardo Montalban of Sadly, No! should be awarded a medal of honor this week for his mind-bogglingly thorough vivisection of DJ Jizzy Jeff a/k/a The Coloradan Cockasoid.  Donning his favorite Scooby Doo hazmat suit, Retardo the Brave wades deep into the moist, sticky, spittle-flecked archives of Protein Wisdom to illustrate just how muy loco the Master Penis Slapper really is.   And yes, for those keeping score, JG’s still publishing information identifying the formerly anonymous blogger Thers and his wife every time someone calls JG "Paste Eater."  [Makes the finger-circling-the-ear motion]

Amanda at Pandagon performs her own brand of surgery on Christopher "I’ll Have the Glenfiddich Big Gulp" Hitchens’ fascination with the "uniquely American" sexual act of fellatio. So I guess that’s what Bush was talking about when he said "having three jobs is uniquely American"?

I know, I  know.  What’s with all the penis talk? Methinks the lads doth protest too much.

Peter Daou examines a newly discovered psychosis afflicting both the left and the right wings: "Bush Derangement Syndrome." It seems to be a global phenomenon that is growing more virulent each time George Bush opens his gaping, toothless maw.

Dr. Atta J. Turk provides a startling pictorial essay at Rising Hegemon that should really be viewed in conjunction with Daou’s groundbreaking work on DBS.  It provides an in-depth analysis of the synthesis of DBS in those of us on the left.

Everyone’s favorite dad, TBogg, bemoans the lack of a bloggers’ ethics panel at YKos. And ever the gentleman, he has a go at Michelle Malkin while steadfastly refusing to use the word "queef" in reference thereto.  Chivalry, as TBogg proves time and time again, is not dead.  It’s merely . . . resting.

It was a tough call over at Jesus’ General this week. However, the manly, 100% heterosexual General J.C. Christian proves once again that he is more than amply qualified to head the campaign to re-elect Joe Lieberman.

All hail the return of Fafblog! Giblets protects us against those devilishly clever Guantanamo Bay suiciders who would rather die than let us enjoy our new national pastime of detention and torture of "enemy combatants." [Remember to wear sunglasses when you go visit Fafnir & Co. The green background, it BURNS, precioussss!]

All I have to say about This Modern World is "Crapulent snurf machine knob knobbler!" If only Peter Beinart were that exacting with his turn of phrase.

I guess I would be remiss if I didn’t include a Dependable Renegade photocaption for this inaugural.

And, as always, if you have recommendations for blogs that may have escaped my notice, link to ‘em in the comments.  I’ll add them to the pile.

[photo credit: Reuters/Jason Reed]