A Stop on the Veritasiness Tour 2006


If you, like me, haven’t had nearly enough coffee yet to face your Monday morning…blergh…well, a dose of truthiness is in order.  E&P did a write-up on the Stephen Colbert commencement address to Knox College in Illinois, and I thought a couple of snippets might brighten everyone’s day.  Or at least alleviate the worst of those cases of the Mondays we have out there.*

Her’s Colbert on the immigration issue:

“It’s time for illegal immigrants to go — right after they finish (building) those walls." People keep saying immigrants built America, “but here’s the thing, it’s built now. I think it was finished in the ’70s sometime. From this point it’s only a touch-up and repair job."

His suggestions for securing the U.S.-Mexico border went beyond walls to include moats, fiery moats and fiery moats with fire-proof crocodiles.

And here’s Colbert on English as our national language:

He backed English as the official language of the United States — “God wrote (the Bible) in English for a reason: So it could be taught in our public schools."

But my favorite bit was Colbert talking to the students about cynicism — this is great stuff, and perfect for his audience of graduating seniors:

He closed his speech on an apparently semi-serious note, urging the grads to learn how to say "yes." He noted that saying yes will sometimes get them in trouble or make them look like a fool. But he added: "Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blinder, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.

"Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. Yes is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.

Excellent advice for newly minted college grads — and the not-so-newly-minted, but still looking for a way to make things better crowd. 

UPDATE:  Reader Lotuslander found a link to the entire speech.  Read, laugh, enjoy.

*If you don’t know what "Someone has a case of the Mondays." means, then you need to watch "Office Space" immediately.  If you’ve ever spent time working in cube land (or if you are still trapped there somewhere with Dilbert), this movie is for you.  Even if you only hate your job occasionally, or have ever hated a job, "Office Space" will crack you up.  Repeatedly.  For the Stephen Root character alone, it is worth the rental.  "That’s my stapler…"

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